The Llap-Goch Doctrine

The basis of the Bush Administration's national security doctrine might be this advert for LLAP-GOCH, the secret Welsh art of self defense that requires no intelligence, strength or physical courage. Some choice points from the advert:

Therefore . . . the BEST way to protect yourself AGAINST any ASSAILANT is to ATTACK him before he attacks YOU . . . Or BETTER . . . BEFORE the THOUGHT of doing so has EVEN OCCURRED TO HIM!!!!

…

No longer need you feel WEAK, helpless, INDECISIVE NOT fascinating and ASHAMED of your genital dimensions. No more need you be out-manoeuvred in political debate!!

While there is no evidence that the Bush Administration has based their national security doctrine on LLAP-GOCH, the learning technique seems to favor the style of our fearless leader:

You receive ABSOLUTELY FREE your own special personal LLAP-GOCH Picture Book with hundreds of PHOTOGRAPHS and just a very few plain, clear and simple, easy to understand words.

It sounds even easier to read than The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and when done you will fear no man!

kherr @ 17:53 CST | link | politics